When I’ve been writing about love on this blog, it’s been mostly about heartbreak. I suppose that’s what started it all.
There was a thunderstorm where I live less than an hour ago. Now the sky is painted in the most beautiful orange and pink sunset colours.
That’s kind of what it feels like going through heartbreak. At first, the storm is raging and every lighting strike hurts. Sometimes it feels as if it will rain forever and you don’t know whether you will survive another lightning strike.
But in the end, the rain washes your tears away and the clouds move on, leaving a clear (or at least clearer) sky once more. A sky painted in the most beautiful and serene colours. You take a breath and you know that you’ve made it through the worst, enjoying the sunset and looking forward to the next sunrise.
There will always be thunderstorms. And there will always be sunsets.
What’s more important than the love we lose is the love we keep. People hurt us with their thoughtless behaviour, with their cowardice, their words, their selfishness. Whatever the case may be.
We hurt others as well, whether we mean to or not.
Loving someone sometimes feels like a weakness. But love is strength. And whatever heartbreak I have been through, I keep holding onto that love. The love that is healthy and strong. The love that I keep.
And that’s why I wish the best to the person that hurt me, despite the pain. My love matters more. And I can’t bring myself to wish her pain or suffering, even if she claims to seek both.
I want her to be well. I want her to do well in her endeavours. I want her to be happy and be surrounded by friends and family. I don’t want her to lose the ones she loves. I don’t want her to be hurt the way she hurt me.
She will never know that, even though I tried telling her. I don’t think she understands. Perhaps one day she will.
What we want for someone else is hardly the same that we want for ourselves. I may want to be happy. But it’s up to me to find that happiness. Wishing for someone else’s happiness is only a way to express that you care. But it’s not as if I can do anything about someone else’s happiness. I can endeavour to not cause unhappiness or suffering. Which is about as far as my influence goes. And even then I may not succeed.
It’s the best any of us can do, though. We can wish for someone else’s happiness. But we can never be responsible for it.
What we want for each other will hopefully only ever be good. What someone else wants for you does matter. I would hope she wants me to be happy and well, too. But I honestly wouldn’t know. I think she simply doesn’t care.
This is not exactly what I had in mind writing about. But these things have a life of their own. Point is, let’s wish each other well, shall we? Let’s not assume that we’ve been hurt on purpose by the ones we love and perhaps lost. I think, wishing each other well is a pathway to forgiveness. And it’s not up to us to decide what someone else deserves.
There are exceptions, of course. But I’m only talking about heartbreak. Not other ways to inflict pain or suffering on someone. Not everything can or needs to be forgiven.
WritingMyLifeAway 